I find myself continually focusing on the negative, even though I don't consider myself a negative person. I also focus on the things i can't change rather than the things I can, even though i consider myself a pretty logical person.
It struck me today when a dear friend said something really nice to me. He told me I was one of the greatest people he knew and then immediately reassured me that he wasn't 'blowing smoke', which struck me that he knew me better than I thought. It also made me think that maybe people know that about me, that I need immediate reassurance because I tend to doubt myself.
My question...how do you change that? It has to be more than a promise to your facebook status to look through life with a different view, it has to have more action, more guarantee. I could write it, I could tell someone but it has to involve doing. I want to take action, control and responsibility for my life. I don't want to be the dramatic head case that people feel they can't talk to. Not that person who cries at the drop of a hat or brings drama to every conversation. I want to be someone people want around in more ways than one. I guess before that can even happen I need to believe that it is true. Believe what people tell me, good or bad, and take it to heart. Especially when they are people I trust and cherish.
So as far as the song goes, "She got a call today, one out of the grey. And when the smoke cleared, it took her breath away. I couldn't believe, that this could happen to me. I guess were all one phone call from our knees." I think the thing that is missing is that every call that makes us fall is an opportunity to pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off and appreciate what we have, who we are...and maybe just leave a little room to refine.
All the best.... Lamb
(PS... Thanks E!)
