Embracing 30.

I have never been someone who loves getting older. I love that being young excuses mistakes and allows you the freedom to be a little more goofy and silly... also, there is always a tag line for young people that 'You have plenty of time...'. The last couple of years I have become all too familiar that time is short. It goes by quickly and you better take advantage of it. Whether it is time with family and friend, time enjoying your job, taking a chance to do something... you should do it no matter the age. Of course, I say this within reason and lets be honest- if you know me you know that I am no risk taker. No matter how much I valued time or tried to make it count, I still thought being 30 seemed a long way off. Don't get me wrong, I am not disillusioned into thinking that being 30 means I need to get a walker and I can start eating off the senior citizen's menu; it isn't that at all. I get that it is only another year. 30 just seemed like the age where I had to really 'grow up'. It also seemed like the age that would come only when I had made extreme and significant accomplishments. I couldn't tell you what I thought those accomplishments would be, I just know that I thought they would be there. In anticipation of the day I have been going through boxes, picture albums etc. in order to remincise (well, the original goal was to clean but I got side tracked). 30 years has created quite the collection of belongings that ranges from too many CD's (lucky kids and their digital music), a box of beanie babies (I know, with tag protectors and all), hundreds (yes, hundreds) of t-shirts that represent the years of high school, college, Starbucks and now my teaching career (I DESPERATELY need to mak a quilt, sweet memories/keepsakes of my mom, and pictures/ticket stubs/trinkets that represent various events. I don't know whether they are accomplishments, but it did feel like a lot of tokens that were respresentations of many things to be thankful for (I would list these but there are too many to count...) However thankful I was and still am, I have spent the past few months dreading turning 30, feeling like something was leaving me or passing me by. My students began to use it to their advantage commenting on the impending doom of 3-0 to make me just a little crazy. I would even ask people not to talk about it as if it were not happening. But tonight as I sat and watched my amazing brother and sis with my two perfect nephews, laughed and talked with my inspiring cousin and her happy son, thought about my parents who have done countless things for me for so long (even when I didn't deserve it), thought about my sister who always makes me laugh and reassures who I am, considered the many friends I have both old and new who make me laugh and listen to me whine, smiled as I thought about the friends that have become my family who I cherish each day, remembered the many family members who aren't close in proximity but still love me unconditionally, and reminded myself about all of the students and their families who make me stronger and give me purpose... I thought that the last 30 didn't seem so bad. I wish I could take back some things I said, worked harder at some other things, saved a little more, worried a little less, kept in better contact with some and let go of others sooner. I also wish that my mom could be here. But, I wouldn't change the many laughs, the cries that were needed, MY incredible family, the superb friends and a job that I love and drives who I am each day. I guess if the next 30 have of these treasures... I will be okay. The clock just turned midnight and the wonder of technology means that I have already received Facebook updates and text messages (two students were competing to be the first official birthday wishers) so I will say this. Thank you to everyone who has helped and guided me, made me laugh or listened to me cry. Here is to 30 more years of blessings and lessons, to not taking things for granted, and to continuing to be a little goofy (no matter how old I get). Either way, I hope the t-shirts are still good and that beanie babies come back in style. With a refreshed faith and hope, Karen