I have a question. Why is it so easy to believe in others and not yourself? When it comes to faith, I have more than I can say in those around me. I have an amazing group of friends and family. Even when they disappoint me, I never seem to lose faith in them. In a fight with a friend once she accused me of having too high of expectations of others; she thought I expected too much from my friends. Could this be true? My only statement back (and something that I am not sure I should be proud of) is that I know my friends aren't mediocre, so why would I accept anything less from them and their actions. Sounds high and mighty, huh? Maybe it is, but it comes from the true belief that I know the greatest people on the planet. I don't expect perfection, just that they are good people or at least trying to be. I struggle with perfection myself, because I can't stand to let anyone down. I have this gift of being able to pick out the flaws in the things I do rather than see any value...it is just what I do. This is not something that I am complaining about...I have accepted it. Though I am sure it is still something that is annoying to my friends and family. I will say that I am fully aware of the stress these expectations have on my life. This might just be the first time that I wanted to believe in myself as much as those around me do. I can't promise that I will change overnight, or even that I will be successful...but then again that is okay because, I am not perfect. Where did this come from? Someone challenged me.." Believe in yourself, there is a reason why we do what we do, because people believe in us." A serious challenge...and if they are going to try then so can I (which shows the other flaw: my competitive nature). This person, lately, gets to see flaws that I am not very proud of OR anything I would normally share and it doesn't seem to matter. Which shows me that even when I am at my worst and afraid I can't pick myself up...someone else believes that I can.
This all makes me think of this song (which always happens) and the lyrics read:
"We stumble into our lives:
Reach for a hand to hold.
And any wonder
We need to find
A certain something, certain.
Turn out the light
And what are you left with?
Open up my hands
And find out they're empty.
Press my face to the ground
I've gotta find a reason.
Just scratching around
For something to believe in:
Something to believe in."
So, I told that student, "I am going to believe in your until you believe for yourself. I will make you see that you were wrong. I believe you can do this." They smiled and a day later came to thank me for believing.
My challenge to you is also to believe in yourself. But also to believe in someone else, because when we start to doubt...a hand that reaches out to help can fix our ability to believe in ourselves.
Oh, and thanks again to all my friends especially those who write me before an extraordinarily hard week and say, "This week will fly by. You’re the one for the job, so take a deep breath, sit back, and let it all happen."
Feeling blessed...
Lamb
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