Lambtastic: Goodbye 2009, I am going to start to take my own advice.

What a year this has been. In some ways I could say I learned a lot about myself, and in others I would say that I have never felt so lost. It is a weird feeling of limbo. Things have changed, things have stayed the same-things have become more difficult, things have become easier...One thing is still for certain: every time I think that I have things figured out or that I got what I wanted - I don't and didn't. I always tell others to be positive, to be happy you are here, I think I need to remember that myself.

As I sat here in all that negative energy I read a post about how when we reflect we tend to be negative, dwell on the many things that were terrible or that were not accomplished. It also said that there were ten questions we could ask ourselves to see things differently. Here they are:

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself that will radically change your view on this past year.

1) Whom did I meet this year who is now in my life? I guess there were people that I knew before...I can't think of anyone I 'met'...but I can say that there are people that have become a solid foundation of my everyday life. People that I barely knew before who seem to know me better than anyone, people that I lost contact with who are now my best friends, people who seem to have become my family (and possibly a better family than I deserve.

2) What emotion really caused me to grow? Courage? Faith? I have definitely grown from anger and regret. Anger has caused me to see things more clearly, to be realistic and rational- and still up for myself. I have finally learned that creating a boundary is okay and that taking care of me is important. i have also realized that i need to have a little more faith in myself and in turn faith in the world around me. I would like to be more courageous...I will keep trying from that.
3) What emotion was I unafraid to feel? Fear? Sadness? Fear- I feared of losing people, losing myself, losing things I didn't even have. Fear that I let things pass me by or I couldn't change things or make them better or different. I have also grown from the support of people who seem to believe in me (even when I don't deserve it).
4) What am I most proud of? My students: who are the most amazing people ever. They always keep me guessing, but they are intelligent, humorous, exciting, sincere, supportive, generous, and spirited. I am proud that I might have anything to do with their success. I am proud of my friends, because they are amazing people. I am also proud of my brother and sister in law who have the greatest little family and the most beautiful son. Most of all...my sister, who has found her place and continues to excel.
5) In what area of my life did I really make some progress? Survival: I finally put up boundaries and I took control of things that I had lost control of long ago.

6) What did I do that completely surprised me and was unexpected to me? The little moments that take my breath away. There was also a moment when one of my students thanked me at her senior night. That moment, where she believed I drove her to be better, maybe me see that I might have an impact in some small way.
7) Whom did I really help? I hope someone...
8) What is the biggest lesson I really faced? You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need and that true friendship is measured in times of adversity.
9) What am I most grateful for? friends, family, my job and hope.
10) What were the most fun times I had? I think I should show them in pictures...see below:

If you are reading this and looking through the pictures...it probably means you are my friend or part of my family, or even both. Thanks for all the good times and for being such an amazing group of people to walk through this world with. Here is to a new year.

Karen